Perfect Patient

"Well, it all started when I forgot to take my Seroquel and Lorazepam...I got these really bad chest pains, but I had those two years ago too. No, wait, maybe that was the time I had a rectal abscess that I had to be admitted for. Hmmm... well, I know for sure that the amoxicillin gave me a reaction when I used it for a UTI I had 8 months ago. Fever? Oh yeah, I had one for 5 days, then yesterday, then for one hour today, but my headache and foot pain today are much worse than the back pain. And I vomited twice 6 weeks ago. Did I mention that I'm suicidal?"
- Complements of S to the L.