...where morning dawns and evening fades...

..You call forth songs of joy.

Wow. I just finished a 10 hour shift working with one of the most enjoyable docs at our ED. It was a blast. But I feel all sort of downtrodden and downcast. Why do I set my eyes on that which is not worthwhile? It's pretty amazing how quickly you shrivel when you're not washed by the Word everyday. I'm in this place where I, well, I want to be co-crucified and I don't want to be. Oh, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to make a whole lot of sense. Maybe this ought to be in my journal - just between the Lord and I.

Frustration ensues. I don't like profanities, why do I use them? I miss good conversation, why do I choose to watch a movie after work rather than simply phoning someone? I miss my friends overseas, why don't I purchase a calling card and give them a ring? I want to go to P.A. school next year, why don't I just apply? Why? Why? Why? And what's with the whole pining to be married thing? I'm so thankful for something I recently read in The Saving Life of Christ...or maybe somewhere else...(paraphrased) "God never expected anything from us but failure." His success on our behalf. By His strength. That's the reason behind "our personal, heartbreaking failure in every phase of our Christian life." Heartbreaking it is. Life's not about being skinny, popular, pretty...wish I wasn't so fixated on achieving that. I learn the same lessons over and over and over again. When do I learn?

Dear Michael introduced me to some amazing music - The Sons of Korah - and whereas I've listened to them heaps of times since, I just sat listening to a song and reading Psalm 65 along with it. For those of you who don't know, The Sons of Korah actually sing the psalms. They basically put a nifty tune to the Word. Most songs are nearly verbatim from the NIV text. I love song, so it's perfect. Anywho...

Those living far away fear your wonders;
where morning dawns and evening fades
you call forth songs of joy. Psalm 65:8

I want to live where morning dawns and evening fades. It's probably not the most comfortable place to be. Isn't it the coldest time of day? Or is that just before? Oh, but to be in the place where I burst forth into honest songs of joy...for no other reason than I am co-crucified with Christ, and He brings about His success on my behalf by His strength. Every moment. A new creation. His life.