Chloe

Oh Chloe, Chloe, Chloe.

My sister is away in California helping out with Dillon. Dillon is the newborn 26th cousin on my mother's side and is the fourth child of my Auntie Kim and Uncle Terry.

My sister is a nanny. Of Chloe.
I am now temporarily a nanny. Of Chloe.

She has pretty much captured my heart. It's all the sling's fault, really. Chloe and I go for walks on sunny, non-windy days and Chloe rides in the sling, sitting snugly against my side or belly. She's about to celebrate her 1st birthday, but she's a tiny girl. A pretty girl. And a bright little thing. She likes to make an "O" with her little lips and "whoooooo" around the house, or wherever she is. Occasionally she'll scrunch up her nose, revealing her gap between her two front teeth, and laugh.

Yesterday, as she was going down for a nap, she absentmindedly reached up and felt my face with her soft hand just before I melted. She has the complexion of, well, a baby. A baby with big blue eyes and rosy pink cheeks. Her hair is taking a while to come in, but her fuzzy little head just adds to her moderate adorableness.

Today we worked on blowing out candles in preparation for her 1st birthday party.

Fascinating how God has created us human beings. Chloe isn't even my child and I can't stop caring for her, now 7 hours after I've last seen her. It could be my age, my gender, my personality. I think it's mostly that bit of El Shaddai - the all-sufficient Mighty One - inside of me. You know, that part of Him who established families to learn something of His character.
As I sat in the backseat of my car today, waiting for Chloe's parents to pick her up (special arrangement, we're not usually hanging out in a car), she and I had a wonderful conversation.

"We're just waiting here for your mommy and daddy, Chica."
"Gleeggleeg ululul hi hi hi hi bye bye bye bye..."
"Yes. Oh, that sun's bright. Sorry, I'll block it for you. Anyway, remember: Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own underst..."
"Bleebleebgussssgghhhenilnil." Big smile.
"...your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. Oh! There's your daddy!"
"Gggggkkkkkkksssstttt!"

I smile, my heart so full of compassion and awe and love I don't almost don't want her dad to be there. I'll just skip class today. Or take her with me.

I hop out of the car to pass her off for the transfer. "She just woke up so she might be hungry I didn't know if there was any food in the diaperbag so I grabbed some emergency snacks and she's got her sippy cup with juice and the house keys are in her blankets and here, I'll get that." I open the car door for him and her carseat clicks into its base. With one last "Bye, Chloe!" I hand off her snack, climb into my car and head off. My heart hurts and I tell myself I'm being ridiculous. "You've been watching the girl for two weeks and you can't even let her go? You'll see her tomorrow! Good grief!"

And then I see myself in that carseat...the sling...and in the arms of the One who alone knows me. Held tightly next to Him where I am unable to be snatched away. I feel His heart ache with love as only a parent's heart can. And up moves my hand to feel His face.